Hello, Beauties! Who taught you to hate yourself? I’m imagining you having one of two reactions. Shame because you know it’s true OR resistance because the idea of hating yourself is not an easy thing to admit. If it’s hard for you to look at yourself in the mirror, have your picture taken or step on the scale without judgment, then again I ask:
Who taught you to hate yourself?
This interests me because the magic ingredient to losing weight and never regaining it is loving yourself TODAY. But loving yourself is a real reach when you are still stuck in self-hate, judgment, and feeling like a fraud.
Most of you learned it from the significant women in your life and then had it reinforced by your experience as grown women. It’s the reason you don’t think of yourself as thin when you really are and only recognize it in retrospect.
I look back at pictures of myself from ages 19-27 and wonder why I didn’t know how beautiful I was. Collarbones are prominent. My eyes are lit up with passion and vibrancy. But I thought of myself as “fat” – wishing to be smaller than I was at the moment.
It’s impossible to get body positive messages from women who are stuck in that same cycle.
It’s all they had to offer; what their significant women passed onto them.
Think about the messages you got from your mom, your aunts and their circle of friends. They didn’t mean to pass dysfunction onto you. They were just looking for their solutions and continually going in great big frustrating circles.
The three themes that surface over and over with my clients are:
- I’m not good enough
- I wish it were more
- I feel like a fraud
These destructive thoughts feed hating yourself at worst and tolerating yourself at best with loving yourself nowhere in sight.
Then you double down by trying to use all this negativity as “motivation” for losing weight. It sounds something like this in your head:
I’m not good enough no matter how hard I try. I always fail.
Yes, I lost 20 lbs but I wish it were more. I’ve got another 50 to go. No time to celebrate.
I’m such a fraud. If they only knew what I eat at night when I’m alone.
The danger is the indoctrination that makes these thoughts seem as if they are just facts about you. Your brain says it’s impossible to let them go because well “Have you seen me?”
Learning to love yourself is kinda like learning a foreign language. It feels so hard at first and takes lots of repetition but eventually you gain fluency.
Similar to learning a new language, it helps to practice with a native speaker to learn all of the nuances. Ready to invest in letting go of self-hate and leaning into self-love? Amazing!
You might just lose all that weight along the way!
Let’s get together and share a phone call. Your highest calling is to take fall madly head over heels in love with your beautiful body. I am ecstatic to show you HOW!
and put “Teach me to be patient with myself!” in the Subject line.
That will connect us and save your spot for your free 30-minute session with me. I’ll show you how learning to genuinely love yourself is the glue to losing weight without deprivation.
I love you my Voluptuous Beauties!
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