Hello, Beauties! I’ve been talking to you for awhile now about changing the way you talk to yourself about yourself. And using your voice to ask for the things you want. The universe offered me an opportunity to take my own advice and I’ll admit it was kinda against my will.
The result: a full on adult temper tantrum
I used my powerful voice to stay stuck in victim mode. Part of paying attention to how you talk to yourself is being willing to call bullshit on yourself. Someone who loves me (read Ken) invited me to take my own advice – something I had shared the day before in a FaceBook Live video.
In the video, I say to you “it’s not too late, you can make a different choice and choose joy.” Magnificent advice UNTIL I was the one who needed to pivot from grumpy to social.
At that point, I had 3 clear choices:
- Stay home grumpy and offended because someone suggested I take my own advice
- Go to the social event against my will and act passive aggressive all night
- Shift my emotions and choose joy allowing me to be in the moment
Part of feeling all of your emotions is knowing you do not need to act on them; only feel them and let them go. I’m still not sure what the grumpy is about but it’s been hovering for a few days.
I could have acted on grumpy and used it as a springboard into anger and blame but again that feels awful. Ken thought the contradiction between my words and actions was humorous. I, however, did not agree.
Wait, we don’t do DRAMA!
I felt my emotions start to gain momentum. I’ve been doing this work for several years so I recognize drama when I am creating it. My thoughts, not his words, my thoughts invited me to be offended rather than take my own advice.
Option #1 went away when I observed myself being swept up by drama.
There is no upside to being a victim. Again, feel and release. Did I feel anger and blame? Yes. Did I act on them? NO.
Were those emotions valid? They are valid because they showed up, I experienced them. But here’s the caveat, they did not have any foundation. I had not been wronged or shamed; I just got caught up by my own thoughts.
So, I moved to option #2.
Attend the social event and just act visibly pissed off the entire time. Make sure everyone knew I was there against my will. Nope! Looking for outside validation of run away emotions is like the fifth circle of Hell. Everybody wishes they were somewhere else.
Option #3 won.
Shifting your emotions starts with shifting your thoughts. To move from victim thinking: “Why am I always the one that has to compromise?” to Joy: “That sounds like fun. What time do I need to be ready to leave?” requires first knowing what you think and why you think it.
Victim thinking has been with me a long time. I’m skewed toward the negative based on past experiences. However, for the first time in my adult life, I live with a partner who is always looking to make my life better. I am not a victim. So when victim thoughts show up involuntarily, I can feel it and let it go.
Joy thinking is a habit I’ve been practicing. Joy’s roots begin with gratitude. In order to think joyful thoughts, I go straight to:
“What can I be grateful for in this situation?”
I am grateful for:
my partner wanting to take me out and socialize.
the robust group of friends we will see.
supporting our musician and bartender friends who are working tonight.
being the master of my own schedule so that I can say yes to last minute invitations.
Other powerful tools for shifting your emotions include music (it’s hard to stay in a bad mood while dancing to disco music) and meditation. Meditation allows your brain to unravel the knots that have you reacting to old habitual thoughts instead of choosing thoughts that bring you closer to joy.
Releasing thoughts that no longer serve you opens the gateway for your body to permanently release weight and keep it off.
Releasing old stories (collections of old thoughts) allows you to stop renewing pain emotions from the past and then eating to quiet yourself.
Dieting was never your answer. True weight loss begins when you learn to use your voice, feel your feelings and embrace joy.
If your dream is permanent, sustainable weight loss, let me teach you the skills of releasing and embracing. I have magnificent tools to help you solidify new habits. Your body is eagerly anticipating watching you grow so that it can shrink.
I’ve got several spots available right now. Let’s jump on the phone and start formulating your plan. The call is FREE. It lasts 30 minutes and you will leave with clarity about how to FINALLY reach your healthy weight. You are so ready for this work. Every time you’ve ever lost, gained, lost again, given up, lost focus, restarted has perfectly positioned you for this leg of the journey. I am so looking forward to meeting you.
Love you my Voluptuous Beauties!
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