It’s Wednesday so you know it’s “Time to Feel your Feelings”. What showed up for you this week? Of the available options, which one are you most trying to stuff down with food, sleep, Netflix marathons or other equally effective distraction? I don’t know that excitement about feeling your feelings ever really happens but I can offer that it can become that thing you do on a regular basis because your life is better overall when you do.
Remember this old Dunkin’ Donuts commercial: “Time to make the Donuts”?
One of the side benefits of learning this skill is being able to process old emotion you’ve been carrying around for years and finally release it. This week I got to practice feeling current sadness and closure. As a bonus, I got to also process a suitcase full of old sadness and retire that piece of emotional baggage.
So how do you feel sadness? Much like the question from last week, how do you convince yourself into volunteering to experience dark emotions. The best answer I have is to let a trusted guide lead you thru it. In this case, your guide is your body. It is customized to provide exactly the support and information YOU need.
Tool #1: Name the Emotion
Tool #2: Your Body Always Knows
My sadness feels like an overall body heaviness.
Similar to wearing a lead coat.
My throat constricts
My belly churns
My mind spins double time
Tool #3: Truth Test your thoughts
My mind said I am sad because I have been abandoned.
This thought FAILS the truth test.
Only children can be abandoned.
I can only be abandoned if I leave me.
Repeat the sequence until the emotion dissipates
How long does it take to fully experience an emotion? As long as it takes. Remember, emotions only get elongated because you renew them with your thoughts. Again, use your tools. The second you are aware that – in this case, sadness – is still present, name it, feel it in your body, truth test the thought causing the feeling. Practice is important and your emotions are going to give you plenty of opportunities.
Here’s the magic you make for yourself. Just like in the video above, the guy eventually meets himself coming and going; you eventually notice you are no longer feeling the emotion any longer. It’s like the absence of noise. You get to move on and leave that emotion where it belongs: in the past. Over a period of years, I predict I will be down to just a small carry on size emotional bag instead of the full 7 piece luxury set that I’ve toted for over 25 years.
This is the definition of closure. To bring this full circle, fully experiencing emotion as it happens results in closing the exchange of energy between you and it. My sadness was generated by a storm of my own thoughts about a close personal relationship that just doesn’t work. Every conversation leaves us both with blood painful scabs that never quite heal into scars. This is a recurring event and in the past I have been unwilling to just feel the sadness.
Your body extends kindness to you by absorbing the emotions you are not yet ready to feel but your mind punishes you. It invited that “mean girl” forward to beat the mental crap out of yourself. Your body, battered and bruised, looks for comfort. Enter food, alcohol…same show, different day.
This week, I was courageous enough to feel the sadness. One component of the sadness was knowing it was time to set a boundary but not wanting to sever the connection to the other party. A beautiful friend of mine,Lisa Paquette ( http://lisapaquetteyee.com/ ) is an energy healer. She offered me this: You can close the pipeline between yourself and another person without disconnecting from them. That was such a comforting thought. I can stay connected (I have the choice) even if she chooses not to (She also has a choice). The meaningfulness of my connection is only dependent on my thoughts. More importantly, I can close the pipeline – stop the exchange of emotions – the moment I choose.
Today, all that work is resulting in peace. I’ve found myself trying to worry about the situation. Kinda scrunching my eyes and searching for sadness. It’s not there. Bonus is that I’m pretty sure some of the old sadness I’ve been carrying around about this same relationship also evaporated. How would your life be different if you were carrying around less emotional baggage? How would your weight be different if you were carrying around less emotional baggage? Interesting to ponder.
I love every one of you and am aiming my kindness in your direction until you are able to point your own kindness at you.
You are NOT your weight.
You have NOT waited too long.
Your body is NOT broken.
If you know you are ready to invest in yourself and want on the early notification list once this product is live, fill in your information in the box at the bottom of this post. Until then, be well.
I love you my Voluptuous Beauties! Mean it!
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