Today marks one week since I gave myself a life changing gift. Last Monday morning I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror working my way thru a skin care regimen I’ve been trying to adopt and this random thought passed thru my head: “Of Course, you’re doing it today. It’s Monday, you’re “Starting Over”! I felt immediate resistance to that being my truth. I have been up close and personal with “It’s Monday, time to start over.” for years and it has NEVER ended well. Every diet I ever coerced myself into starting began on a Monday. It was preceded by a Sunday binge of all the things I was not going to be eating for awhile. I know this drill.
Monday – full of good intentions and willpower – coercing and bullying the living daylights out of myself but hopeful THIS IS THE TIME
Tuesday – agitated and crabby disposition but still walking the walk
Wednesday – resentment growing, planning my first “cheat”
Thursday – bargaining with myself about why I started this in the first place
Friday – salivating about the reward I am going to give myself for being so “good” for 4 days in a row
Saturday – life gets in the way and I lose focus
Sunday – binge because tomorrow is Monday and I will be STARTING OVER!!!!!!!
I know how to start over, I’ve done it more times than I can count. I am skilled at Day 1-3 sometimes even Day 1-5. Starting over is what I’ve been conditioned to do by the diet industry. Historically, once I lose focus it would often take me weeks and sometimes months to gather the courage and “willpower” to start over. During all of that down time I ate. I flogged myself for failing AGAIN! I comforted myself with salty and spicy junk food. I talked incessantly about “the next time”. I played the victim and the martyr about how hard I try; always getting less than stellar results. Every time I moved thru that circle of failure – Starting Over, White Knuckle Restrictive Dieting, Losing Focus, Wallowing in Failure, Binging, Starting Over – my body had a few more pounds on it than the time before.
Standing in front of that mirror last Monday pulled those old scabs off and offered me the opportunity to practice raw honesty. It has become one of my go to tools. I realized I don’t need to start over, I need to step back in wherever I stepped out. What if I could just step back in once I am aware that I’m off course? No judgment, no character assassination about how or why I fell out of step, just the grace to know that I continue to show up for myself. Starting over implies that I didn’t learn anything from the trying and failing, that I am the SAME person starting over that I was the first time. That is definitely NOT true. Every failure gives me new information about myself. So I did two things.
- I declared that in my circle of influence from skin care to losing weight to relationships to business building THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS STARTING OVER!
- I will step back in wherever I stepped out and I will pay attention to the information failure has brought to me.
I’ve named my method for processing the failure information FAILURE AUTOPSY. It is MANDATORY – non negotiable. That sounds a bit like coercion again but it feels exactly the opposite. I get to dive into curiosity and fascination about how my unique one of a kind brain functions. I get to take some of the mystery out of why I do the things I do automatically. Like an autopsy on a dead body, I choose to be analytical rather than judgmental. I am a scientist looking at the why of what took me off course. This is where growth lives. This is the place where my mind tricks me, where old habits tease my brain into taking the path of least resistance. This is where I get to know Melinda one layer deeper and make purposeful deliberate decisions about the world I am creating for myself.
I’m inviting you to join me in this new dimension where THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS STARTING OVER. Let me teach you how to give yourself grace and hold yourself accountable at the same time. If weight loss is your goal, I can say with certainty that the tools provided to you by traditional dieting will lead you down the same dark path I walked for years. It is possible to be kind to yourself AND lose weight at the same time. I’d love to show you the WHY of your unique brain and the HOW to be different. Let’s get started!
Schedule your FREE 30 Minute Weight Loss Blueprint Success Strategy Session. You will walk away with the solution to ONE specific problem that has you stuck and I’ll describe how to work with me on a more permanent basis. I can’t wait to meet you and share all of the good things my teachers have taught me.
Love you my Voluptuous Beauties! Mean It!!!!
Melinda Sohns, Weight and Life Coach
Certified by The Life Coach School
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