Hello, Beauties! What if you had the cure for your most painful thoughts? I’ve purposely used the word thoughts here instead of memories. You know, the ones that feel just a potent today as they did twenty years ago. I invite you to consider it’s not the memory that is painful but the thoughts you are having about the memory today. That distinction will make all the difference in finding your cure.
The cure for your most painful thoughts
It always surprises me when I share a memory that feels like it happened yesterday and then I realize it’s been decades. Those old stories from your growing up years and early twenties still live vividly in your head – especially the ones that taught you the greatest lessons.
Early on in training to be a coach, I was telling my teacher an extremely painful story about my first husband anticipating compassion and empathy. I’ll be honest enough to say that I was initially offended by her response. In retrospect, it was the beginning of a great period of healing.
She said very matter-of-factly and with confidence:
“Your ex-husband is not hurting you. It’s YOUR thoughts about your ex-husband that are hurting you.”
I responded very defensively:
“Perhaps you didn’t hear the part about . . .”
“When was the last time you physically saw him?”
I replied (and it started to sink in that she may be onto something):
“I haven’t seen him in over ten years.”
Her words landed and I was able to hear them. I was in pain that day during that very conversation with her about something that happened twenty years ago with a person I hadn’t seen in ten years.
Here’s the lesson
He did hurt me all those years ago. It happened.
But what was hurting me that day were my thoughts about him and the hurt he caused.
I didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
Why didn’t I stand up for myself?
Why couldn’t he just love me?
Those thoughts have the ability to steal the peace and joy I have today. They can tinge the way I see the world.
Am I loveable? I finally know for sure that I am – just because I’m breathing.
Did I deserve that treatment? No. I had not learned how to have boundaries yet.
Why didn’t I stand up for myself? I had not learned yet to use my voice and feel safe.
Now in case you are thinking what a rotten ex-husband I had, I want you to know that I found my cure for those painful thoughts and so can you. While it’s true that painful things happened back then, it’s also true that he was no more skilled than I at how to be married.
The cure for painful thoughts is learning to recognize when they appear and invite them to retire. They no longer serve you. The facts of the painful event are non-negotiable. They happened. BUT, the emotions of the painful event can be felt – even all these years later – and sent into retirement.
Why would you willing feel old painful emotions?
To glean the wisdom that lets you keep growing instead of staying stuck in your history.
Ready to dive in but afraid to go it alone? No worries. I teach these skills to my private clients as the first steps of permanent, sustainable weight loss. Schedule your free 30 Minute Success Session and let’s start unraveling your painful thoughts.
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Losing weight without deprivation and without dieting is not a fairy tale.
It is absolutely possible when you learn how to let go of the thoughts that cause you pain, especially the ones that judge or shame the body you see in the mirror.
I love you my Voluptuous Beauties!