Hello, Beauties! The Cost of Saying YES when you really mean NO can be measured in pounds on your body. How hard is it for you to say NO and mean it? Do you gush to explain your NO answer? To quantify it? Smoothing over the awkwardness and soothing the person reacting to your NO? Let’s explore:
The Cost of Saying YES
Why do you give in to saying Yes? In two words: People Pleasing. The desire to be seen as a good person and to be liked outweighs listening to your intuition.
But this creates a Catch-22 situation. When an external source determines a person’s self-esteem and self-worth, you a constantly at the mercy of public opinion.
The resulting self-hatred – of not saying what you really think – manifests itself in eating. This is the cost of saying Yes. A bag of chips, a sleeve of crackers, a box of cookies, ice cream. They all work to quiet that part of you that is dying to say what she thinks.
And it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Now, you get to show up for whatever you said yes to doing. Guess what, instant resistance because you meant NO. To reward yourself for being such a good person that everybody likes, you eat.
Then you get home and can finally let out all the anger and resentment that is building up inside, it scares you a little so you eat to soothe yourself. And round and round you go, wondering why you gained 3 lbs last week.
The cost of saying Yes is a flood of the stress hormone cortisol that blocks every attempt you make at weight loss. So even if you manage to avoid binge eating, you still create a road block to weight loss.
I’m writing this because I had an opportunity to say NO this week. As soon as my ears heard the request, my intuition literally screamed NO. I’ll admit that I felt very defensive as I delivered my NO answer.
Was it awkward? Yes.
Was I judged? Yes, but mostly only by myself.
Did anybody die? NO, they moved on and asked someone else
Here’s the lesson I want to share. The only drama was the drama I created in my own head. I felt myself asking others around me if my decision was ok. Definitely looking for outside validation of what I knew in my heart was a solid decision.
People pleasing serves as an anchor dragging you back to old habits. Learning to give yourself permission to think what you think and feel what you feel means you never have to eat to soothe yourself again. That is the beginning of permanent, sustainable weight loss.
I’d love to show you in real time what it looks like to let go of people pleasing. It is ONE of the BIG 3 – perfectionism, procrastination, and people pleasing – habits that block weight loss.
I am currently sharing my food journals, my weight loss process and the practiced thoughts that show up to sabotage me in my private FaceBook group. I’d love to have you join the bigger conversation that is happening there.
You are so ready for this work. Every time you’ve ever lost, gained, lost again, given up, lost focus, restarted has perfectly positioned you for this leg of the journey. I am so looking forward to meeting you.
Love you my Voluptuous Beauties!
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