So you’re ready to lose weight! It takes a tremendous amount of courage to reach that point of determination and “commitment”. We’ve been trained to think showing up with desire to lose weight is all that is necessary in order to be successful. Show up with the desire: desire generally driven by negative input.
- Your pants are getting too tight.
- You feel judged out in public because of your weight.
- Summer is here and you’re going to have to put on a bathing suit.
- Your cousin in getting married in 2 months and you’re a bridesmaid.
- You’ve binged and binged on food and are now ready to do penance.
- You gained back that 20 lbs you lost on the last diet PLUS 20 more.
One of the things you know to be fact if you’ve been on this weight loss roller coaster for awhile is that starting a diet is guaranteed to make you want to eat MORE not less. It’s the equivalent to signing up and volunteering to wrestle a crocodile with only your bare hands. We show up determined and committed, we “fail”, we beat the crap out ourselves for being “weak”, we start the climb again trying to gather our courage for the next diet go round.
If you see yourself in this description, welcome to my Tribe! As a weight loss coach, I now know the reason I kept failing. Sheer determination and commitment will never be triumphant in PERMANENTLY achieving a healthy weighted body. The diet industry has forgotten to tell you about the other tools you need to ALREADY possess before buying their product. The first and most important of those tools is:
LOVING THE BODY YOU WOKE UP IN TODAY
This is different than the fat acceptance movement that has grown in popularity. I’m not encouraging you to be fat on purpose or even worse attempt to gain more weight on purpose. The tool you need is extreme unconditional love aimed at your own person. You will never take care of a body you hate. In order to invest the time and energy weight loss takes, you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY must genuinely be in love with you. This you, not the 100 lbs lighter you. The brain and soul that live in this large body are also going to be in the healthier version. You wont magically love her when she is thinner. Think about the TV programs you watch ranging from Biggest Loser to My 600 lb Life to Extreme Weight Loss. Think about someone you know who has had gastric bypass surgery and regained their weight. Learning to love YOU BEFORE you lose weight may mean it takes longer to reach your healthy goal, but it also means this will be your last trip down the scales.
I got over hating myself several years ago. I am aware that my body carries 100+ lbs of extra weight. My work in the world is to achieve and maintain a healthy weighted body and share that journey with you. Shame and guilt over how I got to this body does not serve me. I sincerely see myself as beautiful and I am generally in good health. However, even with all the work I’ve done on self image, I was still stuck in moving from intellectual knowledge to truly loving the body I have. Enter my 8 day hospital stay for a spider bite. Much to the doctors surprise, I am in good health despite my weight. Reason #1 to love THIS body. No diabetes, no loss of mobility, no long list of medications taken on a daily basis. The spider bite caused a wicked abscess the size of an avocado resulting in a hole in my chest 5cm deep the day of surgery. I got my first look at the wound 4 days after surgery. You could have dropped a “D” size battery in the hole that day. While the doctors were pleased with the rate of healing, they told me it would take 4 weeks with a medical device that creates negative pressure called a wound vac for the hole to heal from the inside out. That is important because if the outside heals before the inside, the empty space will fill back up with abscess.
Reason #2 to love THIS body. It’s been 16 days since I first looked at my wound. The machine is no longer with me. My fantastic amazing body has healed from the inside out to the point that I now only have a bandaid over the site. THIS body, the one I’ve neglected and abused with food for years, healed in half the time predicted. I was bold enough to take pictures each time the dressing was changed. Looking at those pictures is a testament to how well my body works. It acts in my best interest even when I don’t return the favor.
While I was in the hospital, it was hard to see how something good could ever come of that unexpected life interruption. I believe the universe is always conspiring FOR me. In retrospect I can see that this experience helped shift me from intellectually loving myself to truly loving THIS body. I went on a walk today for the first time in several months. I’ve been promising myself to get back to exercising but always let myself off the hook. Unlike most of my attempts at weight loss and self care that were motivated by negative forces, today’s walk was driven by the abundance THIS body has shown me. I didn’t have to argue myself out the front door. I didn’t abuse THIS body by trying to walk a mile on the first day. I took her on a gentle walk and gave her the movement she has been craving. It truly felt like I gave myself a gift. No coercion, no bargaining. Just an owner (of a body) that finally read the manual on how to maintain this wonderful machine.
Where are you in this journey of loving the body you have today? Do you think it is impossible? Do you have a hard time looking at yourself in the mirror? Are all your clothes black or navy so that you can hide in plain sight? Do you move out of people’s way in public so that you don’t take up too much space? Do you avoid movie theaters and airplane for fear of not fitting in the seat? Have you progress to not hating yourself but not really loving yourself either? Are you stuck at that intellectual love? Are you willing to invest in coming out of hiding from yourself and meeting the wonderful person who will inhabit that healthier weighted body? I’d love to include you on this journey. YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN ATTENTION! Let me show you how to get to this place of abundance. As your coach, I will create a safe place for you to open your mind and look inside. As we open doors to old wounds and life experiences, I’ll help you unravel how you got here. I’ll teach you the power of the stories you tell yourself. You’ll gain the ability to let go of the hurdles that have kept you going in circles for years. A healthy weighted body begins with loving THIS body. Let’s get started. Enter your contact information below. I can’t wait to meet you.
Love you my Voluptuous Beauties! Mean It!!!!
Melinda Sohns, Weight and Life Coach
Certified by The Life Coach School
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