I both LOVE that question and HATE that question! It is usually asked with the best of intentions by someone who loves you. It is meant to be flattering but it is loaded with innuendo and depending on how much internal work you have done can be interpreted several ways. These are a few of my favorite:
About 10 lbs but it will probably come back
(deflection and doubt)
Only 2 lbs but I’m trying really hard
(failure and defensiveness)
I’ve gained but I’ve learned all these new things about myself
(explaining and frustration)
Losing weight, really losing weight is an imperfect process. You have been socialized to expect it to be a linear process. That looks like:
- I decide to lose weight.
- I choose a diet plan that I can tolerate.
- I stick to the diet plan with some success until I lose 20-50 lbs.
- My mind works against me the entire time and I can’t wait for the “END DATE” to arrive
- I strut around in my new thinner body for a while feeling accomplished and confident.
- Slowly the pounds reappear because diet plans do not address the core issues that make my body hold weight.
Real, permanent, sustainable weight loss works differently. I can’t decide which of those words I like more so for today let’s assume when I say “weight loss” I mean all three. After all, that is the point, right? Do the research to lose it FOREVER and never have to repeat this process again. Understand your body so well that it never needs to put on extra weight again to get your attention.
The truth as I know it is that when you finally decide to really invest in yourself and dig into why the weight is still on your body, the initial result will be weight gain. Don’t stop reading, let me tell you why that imperfect reaction is so valuable. When you try to do more than band aid the problem, you must by definition feel some of the emotion you’ve been medicating with food. Compare it to the way someone detoxing from anything from alcohol to cocaine gets sicker before they get better.
It is an imperfect process and thank goodness for that. As my mentor Christine Kane says, “The first thing that comes up when you plant flowers is dirt.” The imperfection allows you to address the emotions, habits, automatic thoughts, stories and general trash that is lurking under the surface. It is the same stuff that makes you cheat on a diet or lose and gain the same 20 pounds over and over.
In my case, I gained almost 40 pounds as I learned to feel my feelings. Did it freak me out? Absolutely, which made me eat more for a while. But here’s where the magic starts to happen. You begin to learn how to name your feelings. Then you eat. Then you pay really close attention to how that feels in your body. You commit to asking WHY? Why does that make me eat? Why don’t I want to feel? What scares me?
Courage is a practice. You are a little braver every time you are willing to just be with yourself. The subtle shift that begins to take place is you begin to feel and no longer need to eat. Your body has gained your full undivided attention. And as a bonus: once you learn this skill your weight loss is real, permanent and sustainable.
I am down 15 of those 40 pounds and am confident they are gone forever. Will it take me one year or seven years to lose the rest? I have no idea but I do know that I am willing to do this imperfectly in order to heal and take weight loss of my “TO DO” list forever. I am so excited to share with you the tools I am using in my own journey. It is the reason I have created
UnPack Your Emotional Baggage
So, if you’re ready to crank up weight loss experience, don’t wait.
If you want to have better weight loss results, my insider tips are tailored for you!
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– and let me know you’re interested.
I will write you back and give you the details.
I love every one of you and am aiming my kindness in your direction until you are able to point your own kindness at you.
Mark your calendars for October 10th
Give yourself the gift of building solid foundation level habits
Take weight loss off your “TO DO” list forever.
You are NOT your weight.
You have NOT waited too long.
Your body is NOT broken.
I love you my Voluptuous Beauties! Mean it!
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