Hello. Beauties! You made it thru 2017. Humanness probably has you looking backward now that it’s January measuring how “good” or “bad” the year was for you. It feels like accountability and growth but I invite you to beware of the hypnotic hoax of what did not happen this year as you take your own inventory.
Beware of the hypnotic hoax of what DID NOT happen this year
A hoax is defined as a humorous or malicious deception. Looking backward and measuring decisions made in the past AS IF you knew everything you know today absolutely qualifies as malicious.
Consider that same habit in a different context. Imagine sitting down to your yearly review at work expecting a favorable outcome and maybe a performance bonus only to discover you are receiving a disciplinary write-up for failure to execute at the same level as your colleague who has been doing the job for FIVE years.
You’d be outraged and hurt and confused and defensive. But that is what you do to yourself every January. You don’t deserve that level of reprimand and judgment. In my experience, it only made me eat more and gain even more weight.
So. . .
how can you squeeze every valuable bit of growth
out of the experiences you had in 2017
without beating the crap out of yourself
for the things that did NOT happen?
The GOOD NEWS is you’ve already heard me talk about the tool you need. The hoax is not the things that happened or didn’t happen, it’s the STORY you tell about what did or didn’t happen.
For example when you fail to do something you said was important, what do you make that mean?
Start by separating the FACTS (things that can be proven and agreed upon by others) and EMOTION.
You did not:
- take enough action or the right action or any action at all
- prioritize this task
- have all the information before committing to the task
You make failure mean:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’m never going to figure this out.”
- “This always happens to me.
It is hard for humans to see that failure could also mean things like:
“Now I know what doesn’t work.”
“I’m willing to try over and over until I figure it out.”
“Maybe I need a better reason to make that a priority.”
Think about the way you play video games. You will crash and burn over and over trying to beat a level. The victory when you succeed is based on all those failures. You get a little better every time you go thru a failure because you’re learning what does not work.
So, as you do your year in review, start with self-kindness. You cannot shame yourself into doing better.
Make 2018 different by learning how to profit from failure because as long as you are human, you will fail.
It is inevitable.
A good place to start is by setting realistic expectations for the coming year. Meeting your own Expectations is a powerful confidence builder. Download your guide to help you map out what you want to make happen in 2018.
I love my Voluptuous Beauties!
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